1. Journal everything. Become committed to recording facts, figures and events. If you call to speak to your kids - log it. Record the date, the time, the duration and the basic theme of the conversation. Record any thoughts and observations that you had after the call. Documentation is the key to success.

2. If there are joint credit cards these should immediately be cancelled and each person should arrange to get cards in their own names. If you are unable to pay off the joint debts immediately ask for the accounts to be frozen by the lender so that no more debt will be accumulated by either of you. However, if you happen to be just a named user on your spouse's card then ask for your name to be removed from it. Sometimes the divorce can be a little less acrimonious and your spouse may decide to take revenge on you by running up some very large bills on the credit card and for which you may then be liable. Should you find yourself in a situation where you are unable to make credit card payments through illness or loss of work while the proceedings are taking place, immediately contact the creditors. This way you can work out an arrangement to make payments when able to and so prevent you from ending up with a bad credit rating.

3. Be involved in your case. You should never permit your divorce attorney to handle your case on his or her own, without direction from you. YOU are you own best advocate.

4. See your children as often as possible. Do not let your spouse keep your children from you. If necessary, a temporary order for visitation may be filed with the court to prevent this from happening.

5. Record your calls. This little gem can be a real life saver. Get yourself a small digital recorder and plug it into your main phone. When you get or make a call of any importance, press record and capture the whole thing. In Alabama, you are allowed to records conversations as long as one party to the conversation knows it is being recorded. Sometimes your wife can be your best witness!